Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Generous Wife tip - Be Considerate In Your Difficult Times

Lori shares some introspection today:

<WARNING: very long, rambling, introspective post>

     A couple of weeks ago I pulled some muscles in my back ... badly.  Generally speaking I'm pretty calm about life, so I didn't let it get to me.  I've spent the days reading, praying, watching a couple of movies, writing, etc. and spending what time I could on my feet doing a few of the most critical things (shuffling to the bathroom, generous tips, a moment or two of bookkeeping, etc.).  My family has been gracious and helpful in taking up the slack, so life was awkward, but doable.
    The days passed and I got slowly better, carefully taking on small bits of responsibility again (it's amazing how exciting folding clothes can be).  ;)  I could spend a bit more time on the computer and I even got the kitchen relatively clean.  Life was looking good.
     Then ... I injured my back again, in it's healing but still fairly weakened state.  I'm not back to square one (maybe two or three), but it was a huge disappointment to me, as you might guess.
     I've had lots of quiet time (a blessing to me), but I've also fallen behind in work (sorry for the delay in change over to the new system).  I've had to rely on others a good deal (not always an easy thing to do) and I've had to shuffle past messes I would have normally cleaned up (a bit of a stretch for a neatnik like me).
     I've had unusual stresses followed by significant disappointment.  ("Surely there is a conclusion to this," you're saying by now.)  ;)  All in all it has been a hugely educational experience for me.  I've watched how I've responded to the different stresses and I've done my best not to take it out on those nearest to me, to be sensitive to their needs and the changes in their lives that my limitations have caused.
     I'm not saying I've been perfect about it or that I am hiding my feelings, just that I feel responsible to continue to be generous and considerate in the face of difficult circumstances.  My husband knows what a struggle this has been for me, but he also knows that I appreciate his help and that I'm not going to throw a temper tantrum at him.  During an already difficult time, it's nice to know that your spouse is going to be understanding and appreciative rather than fussy and difficult.
     Tip time: How do you handle stress and disappointment?  How much does it effect the way you treat your husband?  Again, I'm not suggesting we all become June Cleaver complete with plastic smile.  I am just suggesting that we share our private struggles with our husbands in a way that does not harm, that does not add to an already difficult situation.

     Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  James, 1:2-4  NIV

Think generous!  Lori <><

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